19 weeks

11 Nov

These pictures are really terrible this week. It was cloudy out, so the light was bad and… oh well. I really like this outfit, though! The sweater tunic thing is from Gap Maternity, leggings from Old Navy Maternity (for some reason my regular leggings are really uncomfortable), boots from DSW, and a belt from Target. I always feel cuter when I wear a belt like this above my belly.

The pregnancy brain is kicking into high gear lately. I’m forgetting everything and it’s starting to drive my husband nuts, I suspect. He actually just said it isn’t that bad and that he forgets things all the time, but I feel like I’m losing my mind most of the time. My poor students must think I’m crazy with how often I walk to the middle of the room and realize I forgot what I was doing.

I have crazy dreams just about every night. This week, I dreamed about breastfeeding (and it was a boy). I remember feeling very relaxed and at ease, which isn’t how I currently feel about breastfeeding. I’m so worried it won’t work or my nipples will bleed or I’ll have some other problem. I really want to breastfeed for as long as possible, so it scares me that there’s a chance it won’t work out. I’m determined to try my very best to make it work, though. I also had a dream that I decided to go back to serving so I could work nights and weekends to avoid putting our baby in daycare. Ick.

After my book post this week, I started worrying more about failing at motherhood. What if I’m not good at it? What if I screw up my kid? I know my flaws and I don’t want my kid to be like me in some ways. I know these are normal concerns, but it’s the first time I’ve felt the weight of this responsibility.

Our anatomy scan is Monday! We are so excited and I have a feeling my husband is going to try to convince me that we should find out the sex instead of going with our plan. The thing is, if we find out, I won’t be able to keep it a secret for a few hours, let alone a week and a half until Thanksgiving. Hopefully we can just go with the whole writing it down thing and not mess with the plan. I like plans.

I’ll also be 20 weeks on Monday. That’s halfway, people! Holy guacamole!

By the way, Happy Veteran’s Day!

6 Responses to “19 weeks”

  1. Angela November 11, 2011 at 2:42 pm #

    BREATHE, LADY! You're going to be an awesome mom!! You can totally do this! You've waited a long time to get this baby, and darn it, you're going to rock it as a mommy! Don't stress!! Also, tell your hubs to back off! 😉 (Kidding!) I bet you'll love the whole gender reveal thing if you stick to your plan! :-)Also…I have the same fears about breast-feeding. My mom said that it takes a lot of patience at first, but then it just becomes second nature with most babies and mommies. There could be issues along the way, but who has the time/energy to worry about the could-bes?? You have an important job to do…which is to cook that baby as well as possible until it's time for he/she to meet and greet! Stressing won't make anything change now or in the future. "Let it be." :-)Remember…"Just breathe." (5 cool points if you get both of those quotes references!)xo,A

  2. Angela November 11, 2011 at 2:43 pm #

    P.S. I love that you can see the bump from the front now!!

  3. Sarah November 11, 2011 at 7:04 pm #

    Amy! You are looking so cute!! I LOVE the baby bump. I know you'll be a great, loving mom!

  4. Amy November 11, 2011 at 9:38 pm #

    @Angela Thank you for your reassuring comments!

  5. Amy November 11, 2011 at 9:38 pm #

    @Sarah Thanks lady!

  6. laura November 12, 2011 at 4:55 am #

    You look so cute!! I feel like the baby grew a lot from last week. I think the gender reveal plan is so cool for your family to experience and give you two props for being able to not look at it for over a week. Xoxo

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